It’s just after lunch. You have cleared up the kitchen. All is in place and you give a sigh of relief. You put water on to boil for tea, gather the book you are dying to finish and your two middle children who generally get on so well, start arguing. The tones get higher and higher and you hear a sudden yell, then a crash and then a cry. At that exact moment, the phone rings and you pick up automatically. It’s your mom. While you are juggling between listening and answering her questions, your heart is pounding and the blood is rushing to your head. You start to say “Mommy the kids are fighting, I have to go to see ……” but she carries on and you do not have the heart to stop her story. You repeatedly cover the phone and shout “Children, what is going on there”?
Just then your adolescent daughter screams at you from the top of the stairs that she needs to be taken to the mall right NOW and then your baby wakes up crying from all the noise.
CERTIFICATION for PARENTING?
They say that that we need a certificate to do anything in this world except to become a parent. There is no qualification or certificate required to bring a child into this world.
You are at work. The kindergarten teacher calls to say that your child is sick and needs to be taken home. You are in the middle of an important project and you call your spouse who too is otherwise engaged and can absolutely not leave his/her job to pick up the child. You go to your supervisor and explain that you must leave immediately. Concern, Resentment, Anger and Frustration builds up. As you take your feverish child home, your heart filled with compassion, you seethe. Your other child is so happy to have you home that you forget how angry and resentful you feel. However, when your spouse comes home after the children are in bed, he or she throws their briefcase down and says: “My Goodness, what a day!” You explode.
WHY PARENT COUNSELLING?
Parenting or child rearing is a full time job and as the child grows up, changes and diversifies, so do the challenges.
The miracle of a child in our lives is a catalyst that will transform our inner and interpersonal relationships. As a family grows, parents need to adapt and adjust in order to integrate each child into a new family constellation.
Parenting is a process that contains, protects and guides this innocent being from infancy, through childhood and adolescence into adulthood. At different stages of a child’s development there are different physical, mental, social, emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs which all need to be addressed.
How do we manage to consider everyone’s changing needs including your own and create a functional family while keeping sane?
No matter how loving or dedicated we are, bringing up children can be overwhelming at times and we all need direction as well as a sense of humor.
Family counseling is a way to learn to understand and communicate your feelings to each other. By reducing strain one reduces repetitive conflicts. We learn how to cope with and recognize signs that can help us deal with new situations more easily and therefore give us more time to enjoy the rewards of having a family.
Elena Eustache is a multifaceted human being. She is an actress, stand up comedian and a relationship coach. She appeared on “The Funniest Mom in America 3.” She counsels parents on how to be the best parent and person they can be.
Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net