The things to remember when breaking the news
Sometimes, despite all your efforts and honest attempts to restore things to the way they were, there comes a time when you decide to break things off. Unfortunately, the hardest part is yet to come: telling the kids. This is probably the hardest conversation you will ever have to do, and it will be something your kids will always remember. So it is important to do it right. Here are some things to remember.
- Your children need to know that despite your separation they can still count on you to operate as a team to guide them and take care of them. Which is why it is important for you to maintain a unified front, presenting the divorce together and incorporating the word “we” as much as possible.
- Plan what you are going to say beforehand and be prepared for questions as well as hard feelings. Explain to your kids that despite your best efforts you were unable to resolve your problems, but that you still love them, you are still their parents, and you will always be a family.
- Keep your emotions as neutral as possible, you should be comforting your child and not the other way around. Remember that you are their parents and that they are counting on you for emotional guidance. It would be too much to expect of them to be strong for you.
- Never blame your partner for the breakup and avoid fighting in front of the children. Try to keep things simple (especially with younger children) and don’t go too much into the details of the divorce process or the reasons leading up to it.
The best thing you can do for your kids is to keep your harsh feelings to yourself. Make it as clean and quick as possible, and let the healing process of all those involved begin.